I weighed in at two hundred twenty pounds this morning. I am five feet six inches tall. I am plus size. I also say I am fat. Why do I use the term fat? Because I am not afraid of the word fat….anymore. If you allow a word to hurt you then you give that word power. I am fat and squishy..yeah that best describes me and I am proud of it. Why? Because this is who I am. Do not allow others to oppress you with words. They are just words. Those words do not define you. What makes you, you is something so special and unique there really are no words to describe how truly priceless and wonderful you are. We only have one life on this planet so live it the way you want to because no one else can live it for you.
I have started a life changing journey when I was two hundred forty-five pounds. I took control over how much power I gave to words from family members, friends and strangers. Once I did not allow words to control me. I viewed myself in a much different way. I have a past that has been thrown in my face more times than I want to recall. I can not be who I am today without having been who I was yesterday. I can not be who I want to be tomorrow without being who I am today. This goes for everyone. I do not care what type of past you have had. If you allow people to control you with their words then you will only do further harm to yourself. People do not realize how truly hurtful a few words can be. It is not about being honest. It is about how you deliver your message and the tone you use. APPLES! Apples? Apple ..you just read that same word in different ways.
I have had doctors who were absolutely rude to me about my weight… They did not gently tell me anything. One even made fun out of my underwear. He said, “Who shot the couch?!”. Nice…real nice. Way to be a professional. That was over ten years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I recently had my heart doctor talk to me like a friend. She treated me human. She expressed her concern with my weight and the fact that I have an enlarged aorta. She kindly suggested that I lose fourteen pounds before the next time I see her. I was not scheduled to see her for another year. Fourteen pounds in a year was a gracious offer to me, one that I took seriously. I started to watch what I ate a little more. I have been trying to exercise the best I can. Most people look at me and do not realize. I have somewhere around ten or more herniated discs in my spine. I have severe spinal steno-sis and spinal arthrosis. I also have arthritis in my hands and knees. I am only thirty-nine. WOW! Only thirty-nine and you have all that going on?! Yes, yes I do. I am also type two diabetic and I have asthma. (from being overweight).
Even with all my problems the verbal impact my heart doctor had on me prompted me to work with the pain. My motto is “Never give up! Never give in!”. I had stared tracking my weight loss. I have lost as of this blog twenty-five pounds total. I was only asked to lose fourteen. What a difference words and the way we use them make. Remember the next time you look at someone and judge them, the fact remains you do not know what is really going on in the inside. Make your words count. Try a little compassion. When our words become abusive we cause more harm than good. Think before you decide to say something to someone.
As a woman I have decided not to allow anyone’s words to have power over me anymore. No matter what. This is my journey in life. You are welcome to join me in it. As I go I will be writing about my experiences and spine surgeries (If I can be fixed). I am on Facebook under “Plus Size Beautiful” or Twitter under “Cerena DeFalco”. You can follow me there as well as here if you wish. I do not mind interaction and opinions. We all have our own way of thinking. This is what makes us diverse. At the end of the day we take with us the words we heard throughout time. Make your words count in a positive way.